Things I Learned In Italy

They say traveling is highly educational, here are some important lessons I learned in Italy.

  1. There is a rule on Alitalia mandating male flight attendants wear their hair in 1970's high school year book style.
  2. Woody the Woodpecker is funnier speaking Italian.
  3. That "other" toilet in your hotel bathroom isn't a toilet. 
  4. An Italian cab driver can cause more destruction than the Taliban.
  5. It's amazing how much protesting you can do when you have 10 weeks paid vacation.
  6. You can get a shot of grappa with your coffee at the rest areas on the Autostrada.
  7. German tourists think they own the entire sidewalk.
  8. The worst torture imaginable is being caught in an small Italian elevator with ten French middle school students.
  9. Crossing a street in Florence is a test of your manhood (see #4).
  10. An American should never drive a French car in an Italian medieval city. (Now I know what the collapsable side mirrors on the rental car were all about.)
  11. It is possible to transport lumber on a motor scooter.
  12. It is perfectly permissible to wash your arm pits in a public drinking fountain.
  13. At Sunday Mass Italians go to communion the same way they drive, I got cut off twice and run over once on my way to the altar on Easter Sunday.
  14. Italian garbagewomen look and dress better on the job (impeccable makeup, fabulous nails, jewelry, and the sharpest jump suits I've ever seen) than American women CEOs.
  15. The only problem with trying out your Italian on Italians is that they answer you in Italian.
  16. To an American Customs Agent, bringing salami into the U.S.A. is more dangerous than a dirty bomb - and it will be confiscated.

This story was written by Chris Gregor, freelance copywriter. Take a look at my other work (the stuff I get paid for) and learn more about my copywriting capabilities and experience/backgroundContact me at Gregor & Co. 413 528-4763 or

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